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Not so solo

Up until sundown of the night before the slaughter, I imagined I would be going alone. Waking up early, putting on a version of drag that is in between suburban Texas day wear and stage-ready Honeysuckle, listening to the same five hip hop songs on loop on the local station, and driving my little rental car up to the slaughterhouse. That all changed, as things do in East Texas, in a backyard over a six pack. Stephanie Scherzer of Rain Lily Farm and Farmhouse Delivery in Austin sat next to me, and the moment she started talking, I started taking notes. It was the first of what I hope will be many interviews with local farmers, cooks, and lovers of food on this adventure.

I’ve spent the last few days thinking a lot about death, the grit of raw, clawing living, and what it means to have people to lean on, to process with, to take care of you, or just to be beside you. It now seems foolish to have planned something that could be so emotionally intense without plans to have another human there, and I am so glad to get to have Stephanie’s company on the trip tomorrow. Even if the process just makes me crave steak even more, or feel instantly more connected to and more appreciative of the beef jerky backup stash in my glove box, it will be wonderful to experience it with another person, and with someone who is phenomenally passionate about meat and change.

I’ll plan to complete and post the interview with Stephanie promptly, and of course to report out on tomorrow’s fieldtrips as soon as humanly possible. And then, at the request of a reader, to try to document the aftermath over the next several days.

There is something about writing and posting the experience though, I am realizing, that makes it all feel not so solo. Thanks for following along, and please do share your thoughts if you’ve made it all this way.